Dealing With Extended Family And Friends

Telling family and friends can be a tricky one. We have heard stories of having a party with the ex in laws, to being run out of the house by the ex mother in law who can see no wrong in their child and places all the blame on you for ruining their life.

The message being, there is no guarantee how other people will react so don’t expect too much.

Some practical guidelines for telling family and friends:

• Practice what you’re going to say and how.
• Start with the people who you consider will be most supportive.
• Decide how much information you’re comfortable with telling them – which details are appropriate to share with which people.
• Don’t be pushed into giving additional information.
• Avoid oversharing details of rows or infidelities that you may regret in the future.
• Be conscious of your family's history with your ex and how they may too be suffering the loss of your marriage.
• Understand that your family may have had a loving relationship with your ex and are now torn between loyalty to you and their bond with them.
• What you don’t say often speaks volumes.
• There is dignity in silence.

Friends can also often find this new situation too difficult to navigate.  Particularly if they were ‘couple’ friends, they may find themselves having to choose who to side with and decide not to become involved and keep their distance.

This can leave you feeling even more isolated with a diminished group of friends. Our events are purposefully set up to deal with this situation so come along and join us. 

Not all friends will be helpful during separation. Some friends will appear jealous or resentful that you have had the courage to actively change your life (when maybe they wish they could) or others offer support by encouraging you to ‘get as much out of him/her as possible’. It is important to surround yourself with friends who are generous of spirit and neutral – their friendship is more positive in the long run.