Forming Separation Agreements

Now that the separation is in place, it is time to look at the legal options open to you.

A separation agreement is the first step. It is a contract between spouses/partners stating that they have both agreed to separate.

The agreement is designed to cover such issues as property division, financial distribution of assets, maintenance issues, pension agreements, child custody etc.

Aim For The Best Outcome With The Least Amount of Conflict

Our advice, based on our collective experience, and from the many costly mistakes that have made in this area, is to find a route to the best and fairest outcome for you and your spouse, with the minimum amount of conflict.

Contentious separations are draining on both parties, both physically and emotionally and people often settle because their health is suffering or they can’t take any more conflict.

Complex and contentious divorces are incredibly expensive with the main beneficiaries being the lawyers and barristers. Once the legal machine has kicked in, you more or less surrender control over the outcome to your legal team and ultimately the Judge.

Make Sure Your Solicitor Wants What You Want

Our advice therefore is to avoid going straight to a Solicitor. While most family law solicitors offer great advice, they may not always be supportive of an amicable solution, and in some extreme cases, actively support conflict. The more issues there are to fight over - the bigger the legal bill!

If you choose to enter negotiations directly with your partner, you remain in control all the way, and often reach a fairer settlement.

It also improves ongoing relationsihips between you as you are both going to be part of each others lives for a very long time as you co-parent your children.

We Recommend Three Options To Consider:

Binding Agreement:

This is highly recommended and although it’s not suitable for everyone it should be considered as a starting pont. The very best route to take is to sit down with your ex spouse/partner and make a binding agreement between you as to what you both consider fair and just. This is not an easy process but is the least expensive option.

Its success depends on what relations are like between you, how well you are communicating, how contentious the issues are, how willing both of you are to give and take, to realise what is fair, how much is at stake etc. However, if successful, cnce the binding agreement is in place, you draw up a document listing all the areas of discussion and the agreed outcome.

You both sign and date the document and you each go to a separate solicitor declaring this as the final agreement on which you want to base your legal separation.
Solicitors then create a legally binding contract based on this agreement. This minimises solicitor fees, barrister fees will only be payable for the day in court, and the main financial beneficiaries of your separation are you and your ex spouse.

Family Mediation:

If the above option is not for you, then family mediation is your next alternative. Mediators are trained professionals who have experience in conflict resolution particularly in relation to finances, property, possessions and arrangements for children. The mediator is non-judgemental and does not offer legal advice or recommendations, they simply facilitate your discussions in a neutral environment. It is a totally confidential process and is cost effective.

Often, if you have at least tried the ‘binding agreement’ route, by the time you reach the mediator you have gone some way towards resolving many of the issues. If agreement is reached, the mediator will draw up the terms of the agreement. Depending on the complexity of the arrangements, it may be necessary for individuals to seek independent legal and financial advice before signing up to the mediator’s agreement. Make sure that your mediator is registered with the Mediators Institute of Ireland (MII). www.mii.ie

Collaboration:

This is a relatively new option for separation and divorce proceedings before going the full legal route. It is a conflict resolution service managed by Solicitors who are specifically trained in Collaborative Law. While they are experienced lawyers, their costs are less than those of full legal services. They are encouraged to reach an agreement by way of collaboration, as if they don’t, they cannot continue to represent either party beyond collaboration.

The process itself is more user friendly and includes active participation by all parties to reach a satisfactory outcome. If relevant, children can also become involved in the process, as the objective is to find resolutions for all members of the family in conflict. Both you and your spouse will attend the sessions with your own collaboratively trained lawyer, who will guide you through the various stages and give legal advice as necessary.

Visit the website www.acp.ie to find a suitably qualified lawyer with collaborative training.