It's Not Only Men Who Have Affairs

In general, when we hear about extra marital affairs, we automatically assume it’s the man who has cheated.  However recent studies show that this is not necessarily the case.  Research conducted by Dr. David Holmes of Manchester Metropolitan University indicates that more women than ever before are having affairs and he estimates the figure to be around 15% of women against 20% of men.  So women are catching up!   

The reasons for the increase in female infidelity are thought to be attributed to the fact that modern women have much more opportunity than before – just as much opportunity as their male counterparts.  Demanding jobs outside the home, long working hours and financial independence along with changes in their sexual behaviour all contribute to this growing trend.   Women allegedly are better at hiding their affairs then men, and are more conscious of protecting their sexual reputation.  It is not cool for a woman to brag about the number of extra marital affairs or one night stands that she has had.  While for men on the other hand, it can be seen almost as a badge of honour, something they can boast about freely to their friends without fear of judgement. 

Women are also more realistic about the temptation to stray.  Ask any women if her husband would cheat and most would think if it was offered on a plate a man would find it difficult to turn down.   Ask any man if their wife would stray and mostly they would say no.  Mostly they believe that ‘their wife’ would not stray.

In a recent experiment to support this theory, I had a conversation with a male colleague who I knew to be having an affair.  He was very honest and frank about how it started and where he saw it going.   He admitted to this being his fourth affair but defended himself by saying that he really loved his wife and only chose other married women so the affair could go nowhere!

After a while, I asked if his wife had ever had an affair.  Without hesitation, he answered adamantly “God no”.  She had never or would never.   She was very happy and they had a good relationship. I asked if I put the same question to her, what would her response be.  He said she would think that he had never had an affair. I ventured then that it’s possible that she could have had affairs and he just didn’t know, the same way as she didn’t know about his affairs.  He did not consider this a possiblilty!

So despite him only choosing ‘married women’ with whom to have an affair, it turns out it’s only ‘other people’s wives who do this kind of thing!