What feelings are normal after a breakup?

What feelings are normal after a breakup?

‘Lost Love’

So many books and movies are made on the enduring theme of ‘lost love’. Romeo & Juliet, Heathcliff & Cathy, Bogie & Bacall, Scarlett & Rhett – none of them would be memorable had they all lived happily ever after and sailed off into the sunset.

In reality however, it’s a different story. A broken heart is a devastating experience.  It can be as debilitating as a severe injury or illness and needs time and tender loving care in order to heal.  In most people’s lives, the ending of a marriage or long-term relationship is a crisis point.  You’re not only giving up on the person you once shared a great love with, but also on life as part of a couple, shared social activities and hobbies, joint friendships and a secure home.

‘Love is a drug’

If love is a drug, then coming out of a loving relationship can be affiliated to withdrawing from drug dependency or addiction, but few of us allow it that level of attention or treatment.  Symptoms such as sleeplessness, severe anxiety, hopelessness, lethargy, lack of concentration or motivation are a real part of the withdrawal process and without professional help, can often lead to depression and in severe cases, suicidal ideation. 

People who are depressed are not only suffering from overwhelming sadness, but are also trying to battle a wide range of conflicting emotions and an ongoing sense of worthlessness.  Lack of self-interest, avoiding meeting friends, adapting bad eating habits can all lead to emotional exhaustion and compound the feelings of loss and anxiety.  It is important to recognise these symptoms, rather than ignore them, and if you regard them as debilitating, then seek medical advice sooner rather than later.  The longer you leave it the more difficult it will be to climb back.

‘Time is a healer’

This well-worn saying is apt in this situation.  It takes time to come to terms with your changing circumstances, to allow you go through the various stages of fear, anger, loss and acceptance but eventually you will get through this.  Life will move on, seasons will change, things that appear hopeless will disappear at some point and are replaced with a new vision, a new future, most often a better future so embrace your new life and move on.